Tahun ni kali pertama aku berpuasa tanpa isteri. Nama isteri aku Busyra, nama panggilan manja dia yang aku guna “Buya”. Kami kahwin tahun 2015 kurang setahun lepas kerja. Masa tu, masing2 usia muda. 24 tahun, aku dah kemaruk angau suka kat Busyra sejak zaman belajar kat uni, terus kahwin lepas dapat kerja. Aku kerja cikgu subjekaliran sains tulen, Busyra pula dalam bidang kimia, dia jadi pegawai kimia dan analisis kat satu company tayar dari luar negara,tapi ada kilang kat malaysia.
kitorang kenal dari tahun 1, mula rapat tahun 3, then sulam cinta tahun akhir, sampai masing2 ada kerjaya sendiri. Semuanya cantik. Cun. Kami disatukan.
kawan2 lain masa tu tengah struggle nak cari kerja, ada yang sibuk nak sambung masters, aku dengan Busyra dah stabil. Aku kerja kerajaan, Busyra kerja dengan gaji USD. memang cun dah semuanya, sebab tu, aku dengan dia yakin dan tak takut nak kahwin awal. Lagipun masa tu, tempat aku mengajar dan tempat kerja dia di Shah Alam tak ada la jauh sangat. So kalau kami duduk bersama dan dia nak ulang alik kerja tak la jauh.
wedding aku pun bukan cikai, semua indah. aku pulun habis wedding tu. aku rasa bahagia dengan wedding aku. aku dapat miliki kekasih hati aku, yang aku idamkan. aku rasa bangga bila ramai sedara mara dengan keluarga puji pasal busyra. Ye lah, pilihan aku baik, mereka kata. Lepas kahwin, kami stay sama kat Seri Kembangan, dekat juga la aku ulang ke sekolah, dia ke Shah Alam. Petang, lepas mengajar, aku balik, aku tidur. Petang sikit, aku tunggu Busyra balik. Pukul 6-6.30pm dia dah sampai rumah.
Kami makan sama, tengok tv, kadang dia teman aku tengok bola malam2 minggu. kadang2 kitorang lepak uptown, tengok movie, teman dia shopping. Sampai lah, satu tahap, aku mula rasa kawan2 baik aku, gang aku dah jauhkan diri dari aku. gang2 aku yang bertahun lamanya dengan aku main dota, online game sama2, tak hiraukan aku. Kebanyakan dorang ni sama baya dengan aku. Mostly baru keluar uni masa tu. Menganggur. Tak kerja. So banyak masa duk spend sama2 gang.
Aku tengok mereka keluar lepak tak maklumkan aku dan tak lagi mahu online game dengan aku macam selalu. pergi travel memana tak ajak aku. semua tanpa aku. aku jadi pelik, aku ada buat salah ke? mereka ni ada terasa apa2 ke dengan aku? aku tanya dalam group whatsapp. mereka kata tak ada masalah pun. Cuma tak nak ganggu aku dengan kehidupan aku lepas kahwin. jawapan diorang macam satu tamparan untuk aku. aku jadi terfikir, mereka dah tak mahu jadi gang aku lagi ke lepas aku kahwin? Ke mereka ingat aku ni berbeza lepas kahwin? sejak tu, aku mula beri lebih perhatian kat member2 aku balik.
aku aktif gila kat wasap, aku sentiasa depan PC main game dengan gang aku lepas waktu kerja sampai tengah pagi buta. mula2 tu, seminggu 2-3 kali, lama2 tu, habits aku sebelum kahwin datang balik. aku melekat depan monitor, ketuk2 keyboard main game, headphone kat kepala sepanjang masa. member2 aku pun sama. mereka tak kahwin lagi, ada yang belum dapat kerja masa tu. so, kebanyakkan masa memang main game.ย and dalam aku tak sedar, aku mula abai Busyra. Dia selalu minta perhatian aku. masa aku sibuk dengan game2 aku tu, dia datang kat aku minta dibelai.
kalau korang dah kahwin, korang mungkin paham maksud aku. kadang2 dia datang dengan pakaian yang buat jantung aku ni berdegup kencang tapi sebab takut hilang kawan, aku teruskan juga.
Sampaikan pernah, dia datang kat aku, dia cakap ‘jom la cuddle dengan sayang kat bilik. sambung la nanti.” aku dengar dia merintih sampai macam tu sekali. aku pun tak tahu kenapa dengan hati aku, aku buat bodoh je.
Dia selalu ajak aku keluar makan sama2, teman dia shopping, tengok wayang, picnic, semua aku tak layan. aku sibuk dengan game game game game. Lepas tu, aku sibuk habiskan duit aku dengan aksesori PC, gadjet, games yang beratus2 ringgit. semua pos alamat sekolah. sampaikan pakcik guard pun bebel kat aku, semua barang aku je hampir setiap hari.
kat rumah, kerja aku main game, kadang tu aku sibuk setel semua barang2 PC aku kat bilik pc sorang2 diri. cuti ke, hari kerja ke, macam tu la. Aku tak lagi spend masa dengan Busyra, aku tak makan bersama dengan dia kat meja makan, aku ambil makanan, makan kat depan PC sambil main game, sambil borak2 dengan team aku. Kadang2 tu Busyra balik kerja, dia duk cakap la mengadu macam2 pasal kerja dia, pasal boss dia, member kat tempat kerja dia, aku pula sibuk dengan hal ehwal PC aku, aku kata kat dia nanti aku dengar, sambung nanti.
dia pun tak jadi nak story kat aku. Lepas setel on game, aku masuk bilik, jam dah cecah 2-3 pagi, busyra pun dah tidur.
begitu lah rutin aku hampir setiap hari, bangun pagi pergi kerja pun, duk sembang dengan wife pasal baju kerja, seluar kerja kat mana, tie kat mana. aku pagi2 dah keluar nak mengajar. kelam kabut kadang2 sebab bangun lewat.
dia lah yang setia tunggu aku bersiap, masak untuk aku makan sarapan, tapi jarang sangat la aku makan. sebab lambat. dia masuk kerja pukul 9pg, so memang dia tak kalut nak pergi kerja juga.
balik kerja, aku tidur, bangun tidur aku solat makan mandi, main game, borak dengan member aku online sambil main game. sampai pagi buta. time budak2 exam je aku busy, kadang2 ada kursus, hari sukan ke, events kat sekolah je lah aku tak ada kat rumah. kalau tak, macam tu lah hidup aku. busyra pula, selalu keluar beli barang dapur sendiri, aku bagi je duit belanja macam biasa. aku fikir, dia tahu la nak manage sendiri hal rumah. dia bukan bodoh pun. dia selalu juga bagitahu dia nak keluar makan dengan kawan dia hujung minggu. aku kenal kawan2 yang dia sebut tu, budak2 uni kami dulu juga. so, aku tak kisah, aku lagi suka duduk rumah, tak ada yg nak kacau aku. Macam tu la hidup aku bertahun juga lamanya.
Sampai satu hari, 23 Feb lepas, aku terima satu screenshot dari member baik aku, screenshot tu tunjuk ig story bekas kekasih Busyra kat uni dulu . dalam story tu, gambar mereka berdua kat satu cafe/restaurant dengan kapsyen “done bawang”. aku terkejut. masa tu bercelaru kepala aku. aku rasa diri kena khianat, selama tu aku izin dia keluar tapi dia pecahkan kepercayaan aku. aku total lost.
aku jadi marah semua ada. aku called dia suruh balik rumah time tu juga. dia macam pelik, kenapa aku tergesa2 minta dia balik.
Kat rumah, aku memang dah menggigil satu badan, nak tunggu dia sampai tu aku dah tumbuk sepak macam2 benda dah. aku rasa marah rasa bdoh kena khianat dengan isteri sendiri. Lagi pula, si lelaki tu pernah ada hubungan dengan Busyra lama, sebelum dia dengan aku di uni dulu.
sampai je Busyra kat rumah aku terus tanya dia dengan marah2. dia jadi pelik, kenapa aku tiba2 mengamuk. dia kata, dia dah beritahu aku sebelum dia keluar. And, dia kata aku dah sebut “okay”
Terdiam aku, masa tu baru aku teringat, aku tak tahu pun apa yang isteri aku cakap, sebab aku duk tengok anime depan PC. aku tak tahu pun apa dia sebut, apa dia tanya. aku jawab “okay” sahaja.
Sebelum aku lupa, selain layan game, gajet PC, aku pun kaki layan anime. sampai berjam-jam aku kat depan PC layan macam2 jenis anime series. masa mula2 kawen aku dah slow layan anime, tapi bila member dalam group sembang pasal tu, aku rasa macam left out. nak elak aku terus ketinggalan dalam gang aku sebab aku dah kahwin, aku layan balik.
okay, balik pada story aku. petang tu aku gaduh besar dengan wife aku. aku tanya, apa maksud kapsyen kat IG story lelaki tu? “kau bawang apa dengan dia? pasal aku ke?” aku tengking2 dia, habis semua kau aku keluar. tak pernah aku ber-kau aku dengan dia, hari tu semua keluar.
tapi, wife aku nampak nak elak jawab bila aku tanya, dia senyap je, aku provok berkali-kali. sampai dia mengaku, memang dia ada ceritakan pasal aku kat lelaki tu. aku terus tak boleh terima jawapan dia. baru je aku rasa dikhianati, now bertimpa lagi khianat yang aku rasa. tak buang masa, aku terus masuk bilik, ambil barang2 aku. aku keluar. nekad, aku nak duduk rumah mak aku dulu. nak pergi kerja pun dalam 40min je.
sebelum aku keluar, busyra pujuk aku. berkali-kali dia panggil nama aku, jangan keluar rumah. dia minta aku dengar dia jelaskan semua. aku dengar la.
Okay korang, sebelum aku sambung, masa aku start sambung balik siapkan story aku ni, hari ni raya ke-4. confession atas, aku buat masa 11 May. Aku tak sambung sebab aku beremosi.
Aku dengar la apa yg dia nak cakap sangat. Kata dia, dia selalu jumpa ex dia tu sebab nak berbual je. Aku tanya, kenapa tak boleh berbual dengan aku?
Lepas aku pressure dia, tengking dia, Dia menangis nangis la marahkan aku. Kata dia, macam mana nak borak dengan aku kalau aku asyik sibuk dengan game2 aku. Geng2 aku kat dota semua. Dia marah kan aku sungguh2. Dia tanya, bila kali terakhir aku sebagai suami tanya, “how was ur day?” “Kerja awak okay ke?” “Awak makan apa kerja tadi?” Dia kata, dia sunyi. Ramai kawan2 dia dah kahwin and ada keluarga. Dia pun sama. Dia harap aku jadi kawan dia lepas dia pilih untuk kahwin dengan aku. Dia sunyi. Dia nak teman. Tapi aku selalu tak ada untuk dia. Sibuk demgam game aku. Tak pedulikan dia lagi.
Dia ungkit semua yg dah lepas, sampai satu saat dia buat aku rasa marah gila. Aku terus keluar rumah tu dengan hati aku yg bara. Aku boleh rasa muka aku panas sebab tahan marah. Busyra kata kat aku, aku ni tak membesar. Tak reti nak matangkan diri. Sempat juga aku tanya dia, kenapa dia masih terima aku kalau dah tahu aku kaki game? Tapi dia kata, dia tak pernah kisah. Dia paham tu minat aku. Tapi bagi dia, tak lama lepas kahwin dia mula rasa aku makin jauh dr dia sebab tak kira masa dengan hobi aku tu.
Kata dia umur aku dah tak padan nak duduk depan game tak kira masa tak kira hari. Dia bebelkan aku sambil meraung menangis kata aku kena jadi adult. Be responsive dan pandai main peranan as ketua keluarga. Kata dia, duduk serumah dengan aku tak ubah macam duduk dengan budak sekolah menengah. Balik sekolah, main game. Aku rasa baran gila masa tu. Aku jawab, buat apa nak main peranan ketua keluarga kalau setakat hadap dia sorang je. Anak pun tak ada. Dia jawab balik, nak ada anak macam mana. Aku sibuk benda lagha, perangai tak nak berubah. Terus, aku keluar. Aku pergi rumah parents aku. Masa tu, seminggu sebelum PKP.
2 malam aku tak balik. Fon aku ni, Busyra duk sibuk call. Wasap lagi. Aku biar je. Mak ayah aku dah risau. Aku bagitahu mereka bini aku ada jantan lain. Mak aku marah, dia call Busyra. Datang la Busyra petang tu. Sampai saja, duduk la kami semua kumpul. Aku, parents aku, busyra dengan kakak aku. Mak ayah aku tanya la, apa jadi. Apa masalah. Dia pun cakap, dia tak ada apaยฒ pun, cuma rasa sunyi. Rasa macam kena biar dan diabaikan je dengan aku. Rasa seorang walaupun serumah, sebilik, sekatil. Tengah kami duduk sembang kencang tu, ada kereta datang parking depan rumah. Ayah aku intai, dia kata tak kenal. Tak alih, si Busyra kata lelaki tu datang. Dia yang bagi location dan suruh datang. Masa tu dah ketap bibir la aku nak tahan mengamuk. Masuk la si lelaki tu dengan seorang perempuan. Masa tu aku pikir kawan dia la kot, rupanya bini dia.
Masuk2 je rumah terus kena soal siasat dengan mak ayah aku. Aku diam je. Memang aku rasa nak maki tapi aku rasa malas. Dalam aku niat malas nak maki, aku tercakap juga . Aku kata, “Kalau nak sangat, berkenan sangat, ambil la buat bini no 2 kau” Masa tu aku tengok Busyra dah tunduk. Aku tahu dia menangis. Biar dia rasa. Pasal aku maim game pun sampai nak burukkan aku kat ex dia. Ramai lagi perempuan kat luar dapat laki buruk perangai, aku duduk rumah je pun. Main game dah macamยฒ kata kat aku.
Lepas tu, si lelaki tu kata la kat parents aku. Aku paham dia explain tu untuk aku. Aku buat bdoh je. Dia kata, dorang jumpa selalu bertiga. Tak pernah berdua. And gambar yg aku tengok tu, wife dia yang ambil. Nothing happened kata dia. Pastu, mak aku tanya la, kenapa busyra boleh sampai jumpa dia kalau tak ada apa2? Lelaki tu pun suruh busyra yg jawab sendiri. Jawapan Busyra buat aku cuak. Dia kata, dia ada guna computer aku sekali. Nak print boarding pass. Dia ternampak banyak tab kat chrome aku tak tutup. Semua website po rn. Masa tu, dia kata, dia rasa insecured. Confused. Dia takut kalau2 aku jadi gian po rn.
Dia kata, dia pernah nak slow talk dengan aku tapi aku asyik suruh tunggu sampai dia tak ada ruang nak confront dengan aku. Sampai satu hari, dia kata, dia perhatikan aku senyapยฒ tengah2 malam buta kat bilik pc, dia nampak aku melan ***. Ya. Betul yg dia tengok tu. Aku buat benda jijik tu masa tengok po rn. Aku ulang habits aku yg dulu. Main game, layan anime, buka po rn sebelum tidur. Aku terkejut bila dia confess pasal tu. Dia jadi insecured. So, dia minta pandangan kawan lelaki dulu wic is jantan tu. Kenapa dah kahwin masih ada cenderungan dengan po rn.
Dan, dia kata dia terpaksa tanya lelaki tu sebab dia tak ada kawan lelaki lain yg dia percaya. And pula, dia tanya depan isteri lelaki tu juga, yg baik juga dengan dia sejak kenal. Masa aku dengar tu aku dah cuak. Aku takut. Malu. Sebab aku memang layan p0rn sejak zaman sekolah. Uni. Tapi aku berhenti sebelum kahwin dengan busyra. Aku start balik lepas kahwin bila members aku sibuk sembang benda lucah dalam wasap group. Aku jadi terjebak balik. Mak ayah aku marah bila dengan penjelasan Busyra. Aku nak cover, aku kata memang aku tengok vidยฒ p0rn star sebab aku tak ada hati nak tidur dengan busyra. Aku kata depan semua orang yg ada kat situ. Bagi aku, bini orang lain, bini member aku lagi lawaยฒ. Tapi aku punya tak. So aku layan p0rn. Buat lepaskan nfsu aku.
Apa yg busyra ada tak puaskan aku. Aku cari benda lain. Padan muka dia la tak nak jaga aku elok2. Masa aku cakap tu, aku perasan. Pandangan Busyra sayu kat aku. Aku jadi tersentuh, serba salah masa tu. Tapi aku takut, aku malu demgan parents aku. Aku hina dia depan mereka. Depan lelaki tu. Aku kata lagi, orang lain keluar bergaya pakai lawa. Bini aku tak reti. Buat apa nak keluar rumah sama-sama. Baik layan game. Then, dia tanya aku. “Kalau abang rasa macam tu, kenapa abang tak cakap kat saya?” Aku jawab. Tapi aku tipu. Aku kata, “memang aku tak bagitahu kau. Aku bagitahu kawanยฒ aku. Kau ingat kau sorang je ada kawan?” Ayah aku terus marah bila aku jawab macam tu. Ditariknya aku ke tempat lain. Masa tu, aku nampak wife jantan tu bawa Busyra ke pintu. Nak keluar dari rumah aku. Aku pula, dimarah maki hamun ayah aku kat belakang.
Lepas pertemuan tu, aku stay rumah parents aku. Kebetulan dah MCO. Tak boleh nak balik rumah juga. Aku terperuk dalam bilik. Mak ayah aku jadi dingin dengan aku. Sudahnya, aku Main game kat laptop, kat phone. Layan netflix. Aku tak contact Busyra. Empat hari lepas kejadian tu, dia wasap aku. Dia kata, kalau dah boleh balik, balik je la rumah tu. Dia dah keluar. Aku masa tu rasa puas hati la. Memamg rumah tu bukan rumah yg aku dah beli. Tapi, rumah tu aku yg sewa sebelum kahwin dengan dia lagi. Aku tak reply. Aku biarkan saja. Di IG, di Facebook. Aku unfollow dan block dia. Aku malas. Aku rasa menyesal kenal dan gila2 kan dia dulu.
Hari ni, 18 jun. Aku mula tulis balik story ni. Lama aku tangguh nak tulis. Banyak masa aku fikir, nak cari apa lagi masalah dan buruk bini aku untuk cerita kat sini.
Tapi, benda lain yg datang kat kepala aku.
Bila PM umum boleh rentas negeri, aku masih kat rumah parents aku. Bila KPM kata sekolah akan beroperasi, esok tu aku terus balik rumah. Pengetua pun dah panggil ke sekolah. Meeting. Taklimat. Aku pula memgajar ting 5. Aku start sibuk. Sampai rumah, aku tengok keadaan tak macam dulu. banyak barang dah tak ada. Bilik aku pun dah lain. Semua barang busyra dah tak ada. Dia betul2 dah keluar. Semua ni salah aku.
Aku tak ingat bila kali terakhir aku masuk bilik, Busyra masih terjaga. Setiap kali aku masuk bilik, mesti dah pukul 3-4pg, lepas layan game. Lepas hadap anime. Busyra pun dah tidur. Aku tak ingat bila last aku betul2 makan dengan dia. Aku selalu order mcd dengan grab food hantar sampai depan rumah. Masuk bilik makan. Busyra masak pum aku suruh dia makan dulu. Aku sibuk benda lain. Kalau tak maim game, tak layan anime ke apa, aku sibuk pasang barang pc. Tahuยฒ aku makan sorang depan pc.
Aku tak ingat bila last aku betul2 spend masa dengan dia. Aku ingat, aku pernah je teman dia keluar pergi beli barang, shopping, kenduri kahwin. Tapi seingat aku, aku sibuk dengan phone. Layan game, wasap, FB. Aku tak cherish the moments betul2. Aku teringat balik, setiap kali busyra balik kerja, dia mesti akan buka cerita. Kawan kerja la, itu ini. Aku selalu cakap, nanti sambung, lepas satu game je lagi. Tahu2 aku masuk bilik dah pagi buta, isteri aku dah tidur. Aku ingat lagi, dia selalu masuk bilik aku main game. Minta cuddle. Aku selalu cakap nanti. Nanti. Nanti aku masuk bilik. Tahuยฒ, aku masuk bilik.dia dah tidur dengan baju seksi dia.
Aku rasa confused. Sepanjang masa aku kat rumaj parents aku dan masa aku kat rumah, aku tak ada semangat nak lalui hari aku. Aku nak contact Busyra pun tak boleh. No dia sama ada dah tukar atau dah block aku. Aku nak tanya khabar dia. Aku rindu dia. Facebook dia akundah block awal2. Bila unblock aku dah unfren juga. Ig aku block. Acc dia private. Aku tak boleh nak temgok perkembangan dia.
Semalam, aku duduk depan pc aku. Aku tengok wasap. group aku. Dalam 20+ oramg gang aku, 21 orang dah kahwin. 11 orang dah ada anak sorang. . Ada 4 orang je tak kahwin lagi. Dan yg aktif maim game team dengan aku pun 4 orang tu juga la. Yg lain tak tahu. Aku pm dorang kat wasap, mana mereka menghilang lama tak online sama.
Rata2 jawab kat aku dah tak aktif sebab ada family. Main jaramg2 je. Ada juga yg dah jual barang pc. Sibuk demgan anak. Aku rasa macam, “ehhh dulu aku kawen korang juga yg cakap takut hilamg gang la apa. Kenapa lani dorang pun lari.”
Tapi jawapan mereka buat aku rasa terkesan. Mereka cakap dulu lain la. Sekarang mereka dah pijak pada realiti. Ada tamggungjawab dan jadi dewasa. Jawapan tu sebiji apa yg busyra marahkan aku tempoh hari.
Aku scroll FB aku, aku tengok balik gambar2 kami dulu. Sebelum kahwin, hari kahwin dan lepas kahwin. Semuanya indah. Ramai yg cemburukan kedudukan kami masa tu. Kerja elok. Gaji cantik. Kahwin awal. Tapi apa silapnya? Kenapa sekarang aku pula yg terkebelakang? Aku yg kahwin dulu. Aku yg dapat kerja dulu dalam gang aku. Kenapa aku yg end up macam ni. Sehari dua ni aku jadi tak keruan. Rasa rindu aku kat busyra makin menjadi. Aku call mak ayah dia tak berjawab. Aku call adik lelaki dia..wasap semuanya tak ada respon. Aku dah tak ada akses lain nak contact demgan Busyra. Selama ni manaยฒ fren request dr sedara mara dia aku tak pernah approve, aku tak boleh minta tolong dorang. Aku tak pernah pay attention kat kawan2 busyra. Kawan dia kat uni dulu pun aku tak pernah try nak approach. Tempat kerja dia, aku pergi pun tak guna. Aku tak boleh masuk dalam, apatahlagi nak cari dia kat situ.
Aku rindukan dia. Aku nak tanya khabar dia. Aku nak dia okay. Aku pasti dia mesti tengah terluka, sakit hati, sedih dengan perbuatan aku. Kataยฒ aku. Aku nak dia tahu aku tak pernah maksudkan semua tu. Aku tak pernah ada niat nak hina dia. Semua tu jadi sebab aku tak pandai kawal.emosi aku. Aku betul2 nak minta maaf demgan dia. Selama ni dia jaga pakai makan aku. Dia selalu supports aku bila aku ada masalah kat kerja atau sebagainya. Dia supports juga hobi aku. Belikan aku itu ini. Tapi aku, aku yg masalah. Aku tak grow up! Aku tak.matamgkam diri. Aku sia2 kan dia.
Aku hina dia. Aku biarkan dia keseoramgan walaupun hakikatnya kami tinggal sebumbung. Baru2 ni, lawyer aku ada call. Mimta aku sedia, bulan depan mahkamah dah buka. Mungkin aku kena ke sana. Setelkan case aku demgan Busyra. Ya, aku yang minta nak lafaz cerai. Nak lafaz talak kat busyra. Dua pupu aku peguam syariah. Dia yg bantu aku. Aku hubungi dia kurang seminggu lepas kejadian kat rumah mak aku.
Aku minta dia yg hubungi busyra. Dia yg berurusan dengan busyra. Tapi aku dapat tahu, busyra minta dia tak dedahkan sebarang maklumat dia kat aku..macam no phone dan alamat terkini.
Aku tak tahu apa nasib aku sekarang dan masa depan aku. Aku berdosa besar abaikan amanah aku. Aku takut. Aku takut allah akan balas keburukan atas segala apa yg aku buat kat busyra. Aku takut balasan tu akan binasakan hidup aku.
Rasa tanggung rindu kat busyra sekaramg pum buat aku nak pecah dada. Aku tak boleh bayang, sama ada aku boleh kerja macam biasa atau tak bila.sekolah buka nanti. Aku tak tahu apa akan jadi bila aku jumpa busyra di mahkamah nanti. Semua benda ni buat aku tak boleh tidur. Aku rasa takut. Aku tak tahu apa akan jadi lepas ni. Banyak dosa aku yg sedang beratur untuk beri balasan atas diri aku sendiri. Aku nak bercakap dan jumpa busyra. Aku nak dengar suara dia. Dia sumber kekuatan aku selama ni. Apa aku perlu buat. Aku rindukan dia. Aku nekad tak akan sia2 kan dia lagi. Aku rindu dia.
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Why Choose And Buy A Drafting Table Youve seen them, Im sure. A broad, wide tabletop tilted at a comfortable work angle. Theyre usually taller than ordinary tables, either stool height or a comfortable height to stand in front of. A [read more..]
Antique Construction Survey Tools In the field of antique surveying, the idea of antique construction survey tools is highly considered. Some antique construction survey tools are there to aid every surveyor in the surveying process. [read more..]
Panama Quality and Cost of Living Introduction – Mercer Human Resource Consulting has released their 2007 findings. These are surveys which rate cities according to certain criteria they elect to use. They use New York City as a basel [read more..]
The Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA) No matter what many credit counseling scam artists may try to tell you, no one can legally remove any information that is up-to-date and accurate from your credit report. They can't do it, and yo [read more..]
Fun Things To Do In San Diego Visiting San Diego? Then you are in for a great vacation and adventure. San Diego is a very diverse and interesting city so you will never run out of things to do during your stay.Taste the waters of [read more..]
Your IRS Tax Appeal Rights Are you in the middle of a disagreement with the IRS? One of the guaranteed rights for all taxpayers is the right to appeal. If you disagree with the IRS about the amount of your tax liability or abou [read more..]
Off-Line Marketing – Secrets to Getting More Customers It's an on going saga. How can business owners locate potential customers who are willing to spend their hard earned dollar to buy your programs and products? What are the techniques that work ef [read more..]
Red Termites Red termites are insects that live in a cooperative social environment, commonly referred to as colonies In this regard, red termites are much like ants. However, although they are sometimes known as white ants, termites couldnt be farther from ants. Both belong to entirely different taxonomic groups. Th [read more..]
Generic Cialis or Generic Viagra pills pWilliam walked into work and saw his buddy Jim. "Did you use your Generic Viagra pill last night?" Jim asked. William whispered, "No, and it was Generic Cialis, by the way and began t [read more..]
Blogging Tips on What You Should Do or Not Do Are you looking for effective blogging tips? You've come to the right place. It's true that any individual can upload or open a blog online for the world to read and see. However, this is no [read more..]
Making a Hyper Responsive Opt Work Getting the attention of people to buy a certain product is challenging. There were times in the past when telemarketing was at times more of a nuisance rather a convenience to people. The same goes f [read more..]
Elusive Images in Stock Photography: Ocean, Water, Life As humans, our strongest emotional responses – both positive and negative – come from visual cues. That's precisely why the old adage, "A picture is worth a thousand words," has more th [read more..]
Convince Skeptics With Easy Vegetarian Recipes If you are thinking of following vegetarian diet for certain causes – religious belief, health reason, economic reason, animal rights – you will face a barrage of uninformed arguments from skeptical r [read more..]
The Twelve Days of Spyware The Twelve Days of SpywareOn the first day of Spyware, A Sender Forger sent to me A SoBig Virus in a Email. On the second day of Spyware, a Phisher sent to me A Nigerian Email Scam, And a SoBig Virus [read more..]
Showcase your talents with Free MySpace Layouts When we are browsing through the Free MySpace Layouts website is that the free MySpace layouts are made with use of multiple tables. Tables are a method of using HTML codes to display content and pict [read more..]
Creating a Raised Bed If your current planting goals involve plants that require good water drainage, I am sure you know how frustrating it is to have a yard that just wont cooperate. Some plants can handle the excess wate [read more..]
U KWD: 12448 2.67U. S. Patent OfficeThe U.S. Patent Office carefully reviews the patent application in order to determine the invention's patentability. Upon submission of a patent application to [read more..]
International Business Blunders When you are determined to pursue economic relations in the global market, there are a lot of seemingly unnoticeable details that need to be looked into. Cultures and traditions of different nations h [read more..]
How To Fit Clubs For A Good Game Of Golfing When you are selecting a new set or even a first set of golf clubs, you need to assess your game and take a few measurements. Golfing is a sport that requires golfers to have the proper length and fle [read more..]
The Jewish Pilgrimage – Book Review The Jewish Pilgrimage An Exploration of Reality, Mainly in Verse The Jewish Pilgrimage by Geoffrey Hoffman is clearly written to inspire philosophical discussion. This book depicts the authors person [read more..]
What To Remember When You Buy Drugs Online As with any other technological development embraced by the business world, there are positive and negative aspects to the Internet. The same holds true whenever someone tries to buy drugs online. Web [read more..]
Good to Know Things about Teeth Whitening Teeth whitening has become a very important issue this days. A nice smile with snow white teeth can bring you really useful advantages in your career or every day life. But even if you brush your teet [read more..]
Getting Around Disneyland with Your Toddler or BabyAs a parent, you already know that you dont want to have to carry your child around in your arms all day. You couldnt possibly make it through the day! You also cant expect your child to walk all [read more..]
Blog Marketing: Be Seen Having a blog and making it known to cyber world is not as easy as it may seem. Many people think that they can write it or build it and they will come. This is not the case at all. Just because you p [read more..]
Cost Effective Business Marketing Looking for a profitable and cost effective to market your business? Try a scratch and win promotion. Scratch and win cards are the best and most cost effective way to promote your business. Customers [read more..]
Who’s Speaking: Choosing A Narrator’s Voice Have you given much thought to the voice of your narrator? Perhaps you assumed the narrator in your novel should remain neutral. Many writers believe that the narrator should have little in the way of [read more..]
Eating Healthy During Pregnancy Starting off your with a healthy wellbalanced diet is the best thing you do for yourselfand your baby. This way, you'll only need to makea few adjustments during your pregnancy.Your first trimes [read more..]
The Truth About Xanax Nearly everybody has heard something negative or weird about Xanax side effects (Xanax is the brand name of the generic drug Alprazolam). This article seeks to separate fact from fiction on a number o [read more..]
Indonesian Mud Volcano Referred to formations brought about by gases and liquids that are geographically emitted, a sludge dome can be as large as 10 kilometers in diameter Possibly reaching a height of 700 meters, it is actually caused by a lot of other processes. This environmental activity releases 86 of methane as well as fine solids perched in fluids that includes w [read more..]
If I Only Had A Brain: Overcoming The Manipulation Of Celebrity Political Endorsements The right to vote is a privilege that we have long taken for granted. It has become subject to the indifference of our entitlement rather than being subject to the scrutiny of our responsibility. Th [read more..]
Learn How To Repair Your Hard Drive Problems Fast Since computer users are human, the user can be the primary cause of computer failure. And we operators of our computers are in most cases but that, we operate the computer but know very little concer [read more..]
Elements of Interior Design Whether you are working with existing furnishings and fabrics or starting from scratch with an empty room, you should always use the elements and principles of design as a guide in choosing everything [read more..]
A Look at the Steps of Making Wine If you are a true wine connoisseur, the next step in appreciating a fine wine may be to make your own wine at home. While the process may seem to be complicated, wine can be made rather easily at home [read more..]
Credit Cards For Anybody Credit Cards are widespread all over the US as well as worldwide and are accepted Internationally as a very convenient mean of payment either in person at stores, via the phone and the Internet or on [read more..]
Search With A Career Search If you are looking for the perfect career for you but are unsure of where to look or what to look for, then don't go any further without doing a career search. A career search is a great way to l [read more..]
LED Flashlights – Let There Be Light The new generation of LED lights resolves many of the inconveniences of typical camping lights. In the past five years, there have been huge leaps forward in the development of usable LED lighting. Ju [read more..]
Choosing The Right CRM Solution Choosing the right CRM technology can be a bit of a daunting task no matter what size of company and no matter whether they are in telecommunications, financial services, industry or retail. Whether y [read more..]
Adopting A Dog On The Spot Deciding Which Dog to Adopt Sometimes, even with thorough planning, it is still hard to resist puppies with oversized paws and cute, button-like eyes or attractive full-grown dogs, for that matter. This is a natural response com [read more..]
It’s understandable to want to get stacked It's often discussed how terrible drugs are. You can read about it in the paper or maybe catch a story on tonight's local news. One thing I have never heard about illegal drugs is something [read more..]
Key Words: stages of a relationship Word Count: 479KWD: 6479×1001.25Where Are We? Stages of a RelationshipThere are many types of relationships various styles, different grounds. However all undergo through some sort of inbuilt though [read more..]
Why Vacation Certificates Are Great Direct Mail Promotions Are you a business owner who wants to see an increase in business profits? If so, you will need to focus on retaining your current customers, as well as acquiring new ones. To do this, you may want to [read more..]
Irritable Bowel Diet 2 Important Facts on Irritable Bowel DietIBS or Irritable Bowel Syndrome is considered to be a common disorder affecting the intestines. Common symptoms include stomach pain, bloating, gas, cramping and [read more..]
The Advantages Of The Microchip For Your Pets Every pet owner wants to keep his or her beloved cat or dog as safe as possible. You do everything you can do make sure your pet is well cared for and healthy. If you have an indoor pet, you may not t [read more..]
The Diesel Truck “Big Rig” of the Future How will Trucks look in the future look? Lets see some real examples of innovations and prototypes. The most important aspect is the energy source. The energetic crisis and the pollution are the two a [read more..]
UK Sex Dating The UK's population has surpassed 60 million. About 600,000 people have come to work in the UK from the new EU nations between 2004 and 2006. The whole concept of love and sex has changed over th [read more..]
Dont let a Drug Arrest Ruin You Vacation Many countries have stiff penalties for drug violations and strictly enforce drug laws. If you are caught buying, selling, carrying or using any type of drug – from hashish to heroin, marijuana to mes [read more..]
Hydrogen on Demand: Fuel Systems A car running on water? That may sound ridiculous but it is true; you can now run your car using water and a hydrogen fuel system. Fuel systems are gaining popularity all over the world because it not [read more..]