Assalamualaikum. Terima kasih KRT post luahan saya. Hidekan nama saya ye. Saya di sini nak minta kata2 semangat dr rakan2 semua. Bergini, maaf pnjng cerita saya. saya ibu kepada 5 orang anak. Suami saya suka sangat melepak diluar, sejak kami tinggal di rumah sendiri sejak tahun 2011.
siang katalah dia bekerja. magrib dia akan ke surau bersambung ke ishak dan terus tak balik. dia biasa balik sekitar 12am ke 1-2am. tu pun kalau saya sedar. biasa time tu memang dah tertido. Pernah tunggu, tapi tetap tak balik
pernah berbincang, suami biasa bagi respond yang tak menyelesaikan masalah tu.
kadang tu sehari dua, ada lah baik jup. pastu jd balik. sehingga lah brrberapa tahun lepas, saya perasan suami semakin panas dengan saya. susah nak cakap baik. nak marah je, dengan anak2 pun macam tu. kadang dia ok. Tapi banya yang tak ok.
Dia tak bolah angkat kaki tangan, tapi lebih suka membatu, kalau dia bersuara, cara bercakap nak marah je. pernah bila dia bercakap dalam nada marah tu, saya tanya baik2 nape asik nak marah je. ada apa2 yang saya buat salah ke. jawapan suami.
mana ada marah, biasa je. tapi muka memang takde manis pun. kadang rasa cam saya ni musuh dia. kehidupan saya dalam 10tahun ni memang cam tegang je. nak jumpa suami pun susah. kena whatsApp dia kalau nak minta tolong apa2.
Sehinggalah hujung tahun lepas saya ternampak whatsApp yang suami save maksu padahal nama perempuan lain yang saya tak tahu pun ada nama makcik dia. saya bg contoh dlm simpanan dia tulis nama ‘maksu N’ saya pelik, nama tu naik atas tapi bila buka kosong
takde chat apa2. sebab biasa kalau kita chat org, nama tu akan naik. Beberapa kali saya ternampak, saya guna hp dia kadang cari no tel, sebab saya tolong suami dlm urusan business dia. saya pernah tny, sapa maksu N sebab setahu saya, takada nama tu.
suami ckp makcik jauh n saya takpernah jumpa. sampailah satu hari, suami lupa off whatsApp web dia dan dia keluar. saya guna pc dia untuk print document. masa tu dia baru start chat
“Assalamualaikum”
“Apa kabar” lebih kurang cam tu ayat dia,
dan masa tu saya tgh nak call suami, sebab nk tny nak print documen apa. Tapi bodohnya saya, saya tny.. abang tgh chat ngan maksu N ke. Dalam tel suami dlm nada marah dan trus off whatsApp web tu
masa tu saya rasa cam lain macam. bila dia balik, saya tny betul2 tapi sedikit pun tak marah.
Suami dok elak2 nk jawab. last saya ckp, kenapa cam ada sesuatu.. abang sebenarnya takjujur. pastu saya trus tinggal dia n pergi ke dapur. masa kat dapur, sambil saya basuh pinggan, saya menangis. masa tu saya tgh sarat mengandung anak ke 5.
Tiba2 suami dtg, dia peluk n ckp dia sayang saya dunia akhirat, dia minta maaf. saya sikit pun tak sayak apa2, dia minta maaf n ckp tu makcik angkat dlm family dia.. b0donya saya. saya pernah nak tanya dengan mak mertua atau adik ipar, tapi saya taknak jd isu besar. Jadi saya diamkan.
sblm saya lupa, org kata naluri isteri ni kuat. sebenarnya sblm2 ni saya memang ada rasa tak sedap hati, saya slalu datang bayangan suami ada wanita lain. tapi saya akan istifar dan ckp tu sangka buruk saya shj.
saya juga kerap mimpi suami ada wanita lain atau saya sendiri yang ada lelaki lain. dan paling saya taksuka, saya kerap mimpi saya kembali kpd etak saya, yang saya takde pun dok igt2 dia
ok berbalik isu td, ia trus reda n saya pun takde tny2 lg…nama maksu N td pun hilang dlm hp suami..suami yang tunjuk. saya ada ckp, nape plak delete no tel maksu. bodonya saya. Dan baru2 ni 21 Jan 2021..semua terbongkar yang betul2 menghancurkan hati saya.
hancur sampai lumat. pagi tu suami keluar atas urusan kerja dan urusan sek anak. saya pun pg dlm kul 9am cam tu, nak mandikan anak yang kecik. tiba2 telegram saya masuk notification. saya tgk ada nama M&E Cons I (saya rahsiakan nama) yang buat saya pelik, nama constrution tapi nape gambar perempuan pakai baju nvrse.
otak saya trus ligat. teringat balik Maksu N td. saya igt di pc, suami memang ada buka telegram di desktop. saya trus buka. bila saya buka suami saya tgh chat bersayang rindu dgn dia. mungkin perempuan tu baru reg telegram. Allah nk tnjk segalanya n jwb pertanyaan saya pada DIA.
kenapa suami saya semakin dingin dengan saya? kenapa suami saya tak betah duduk di rumah dan banyak saya tanya pada Allah bertahun2 lamanya. Akhirnya Allah jawab, saya kaku depan pc. baca chating cinta mereka
suami saya sejak kahwen, memang boleh dikatakan tak de ckp sayag atau rindu pd saya, kalau saya usik2 dia tny sayag saya tak, jawapan dia memang takde lah nak ckp sayag. saya fikir, org lelaki memang cam tu, takcam kita perempuan jika sayag ckp sayag.
Hinanya, bod0nya saya rasa masa tu. saya rasa nak lari, saya rasa nak putar balik masa. saya rasa menyesal semua ada
kepercayaan saya pada suami 200% takpernah saya syak suami buat saya cam ni.
Dalam kul 12pm suami call saya untuk tny ttg urusan sek anak. saya jwb acuh takacuh kemudian saya letak. Dia call balik, suami tny kenapa lain.. saya jawab takde apa2. Takyah susah2 call saya balik, abang dah ada sayang lain kan. pastu saya letak.
suami call balik dan trus ckp “tunggu abang balik, kita bincang!!!” dan saya trus putuskan panggilan. saya trus nangis semahu2nya. bila suami sampai saya trus membatu. saya masatu tgh susukan anak. suami trus minta maaf n mengaku salah.
saya takde kata2 dah. saya diam je, otak saya kosong. Selepas dlm 10min baru saya respond saya tnya sapa pompuan tu, kenapa bod0kan saya cam ni. Dr situ saya tahu perempuan tu ex suami masa sek dulu dan dia dah berkahwin pun dan ada anak.
mereka dah berhubung lama dah, kira2 10th tapi serius sejak dlm 3-4th lepas. saya ckp, abang masih sayag n cintakan dia lg? suami angguk. saya jawab, saya akan undur diri. suami trus meraung, taknak lepaskan saya. Dia ckp dia lalai dgn n4fsu dia.
Suami kata suami sayag saya n anak2. taknak keluarga kami hancur kerana perkara ni tapi saya ckp, saya dah susah nk terima suami balik. saya rasa bod0 sgt2 depan mereka berdua. suami merayu2 saya tetap membatu. akhirnya, suami ckp bg lah dia peluang terakhir demi anak2. Saya diam terus
tiba2 anak saya yang kecik yang td saya susukan menangis sebab tersedar dr tidur. saya rasa tak sampai hati kerana anak2 akhirnya saya ckp dgn suami, saya terima dia balik kerana anak2 n maafkan saya jika saya takcam dulu lg
suami trus peluk n menangis2 minta ampun. saya diam je takrespond
saya igt saya kuat, tapi saya tak kuat. Setiap hari saya cam dihantui kecurangan suami. pandai mereka sembunyikan. bod0 kan saya n saya simpati pd suami wanita tersebut. suami pula, kini 360 darjah memang berubah.
ckp semakin berlembut dgn saya. kurang dah keluar. suami tunjuk dia delete dan n block wanita tu di fb dan telegram. suami ckp nak move on, nak perbaiki balik hubungan kami dan perbaiki kesilapannya. saya nmpk beberapa minggu ni perubahan tu.
dulu suami saya seakan sombong sgt dgn saya, ckp nak marah atau pun taklayan pun jika saya berckap dgnnya. masa saya dlm pantang, saya ckp takyah lah keluar memancing, dia ttapi keluar tinggalkan saya dgn anak2. skrg memang baik sgt. berubah sgt2, rasa cam pengantin baru
tapi hati saya masih sakit, saya harap ada kawan2 sudi bg kata2 semangat untuk saya redakan rasa kecewa saya ni
kalau ikut hati saya taknak teruskan bersma suami tapi saya tahu itu bisikan sy5it4n. Bantu lah saya.
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